April News Headlines..

• Round 1 Match Cancelled

     04 April, 2009

  Does anyone want to play us? The Round 1 fixture against Wilston Grange has had to be cancelled at late notice due to inclement weather. Apparently the grounds are under water and not in a fit state to host a game. Suncoast players are itching for a game and would have played in masks and snorkels if required.

   

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  March Clanger of the Month

     04 April, 2009

  Each month a lucky Sunshine Coast player/official will take out the "Clanger of the Month" award for some deed they have done, that they would generally like to keep to themselves. An overall winner will be announced at the annual presentation night and we must say that Richie Coward now has the shortest odds in the competition history after a balls-up with the weekly training raffle.

  
  

  Richie was keen to make amends for the previous raffle stuff-up and was off to a flying start, with witty banter and retorts flying backwards and forwards as he read out participants names. I believe this got the better of him and he fell back into old habits and was unable to find a winner - luckily young wilkes was there to save the day and announce the winner.

  
  

  Other contenders who were in the running included the Chowster and Wilkes for missing plane flights home from Melbourne during the opening round of the AFL season and a number of other faux pars made by these weary travelers that will be written about in a future feature article. After a weekend in Melbourne at the footy, judges were sure that one of these boys to take out the Clanger of the Month. So well done Richie and congratulations on your second nomination for Clanger of the Month!

     

• Roo Boys are Just Misunderstood

     10 April, 2009

  "Those poor Roo Boys are probably just misunderstood", according to Suncoast club publicity artist and part-time psychologist Greg Miles. "They are compensating for a lack of compassion and understanding from their supporters and training staff and transferring these feelings into an inanimate object (the rubber chicken) to live out their dreams and aspirations. Text book stuff ".

  
  

  Greg has a number of duties at the club, from dimmie chef, sign writer and coach to senior player and mentor. He strongly believes that Brendan Fevola is the second coming and that the mental health of his Suncoast players is just as important as their physical health.

  
  

  "I don't believe that the North Melbourne Footy Club is helping its players deal with their rubber chicken obsessions in a safe manner. On the Sunshine Coast, we are dealing with the Roo Boys problems head-on and their fellow team mates understand just how important it is to feel that their club will win more than a handful of games this season".

  
  

  

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  SuncoastV Footy Tipping 2009

  14 April, 2009

  We have already had a protest by some and it looks like the stewards will be called to investigate…Richie C has taken the lead in the footy tipping competition! It’s still not too late to join. Simply register on the site and sign up for the SuncoastV Competition.

  
  

• Suncoast Player Supplies Hair

     14 April, 2009

  An unidentified player has been asked to contribute hair samples of suitable length for substance testing later this week. This was initiated due to recent irregularities and possible “over performance” issues in the SuncoastV Tipping Competition.

  
  

  Be on the lookout for players exhibiting tell-tale signs of drug use may include...seeing things that are not there (say a winning number on a raffle ticket that wasn’t the winner); exhibiting behaviours that are not consistent (announcing the wrong winner on two occasions in a raffle); exhibiting a change in appetite (not polishing off at least 6 dimmies at training the other night).

  
  

  If you believe that you know of any fellow player exhibiting these symptoms, please tell Footy (aka the conditioning coach and last weeks "Botters Stand-In") because with some of those retro-drills he had the squad do last week, he should be on some of those drugs. Happy tipping!

• Round 2 Match Results

     19 April, 2009

  It was a changing of the guard with Grant Foot stepping up to the plate and assuming the coaching duties for the game. A strict follower of the rotation policies of Alistair Clarkson and Bomber Thompson, he saw fit to ensure that if you were walking it was to the bench for a breather.

  
  

  A solid all-round performance by all players though we have it on good authority that some goal kicking practise will be on the cards for their next training run.

  
  
  

  A slow start by the boys and some wayward kicking saw the Suncoast side off to a shaky start for their first round encounter with Souths. The new faces in the squad may have also contributed to the slow start, but rest assured, this was only short lived as the Suncoast kicked away in the second half laying on 11 goals to take the match convincingly. Some of the "newbies" impressed (Merlot, Brandy, Shannon to name a few) as did the regular stalwarts (Duey, Barra, Vaggy and PJ).

  
  

  PJ's effort to shake a determined tag provided spectators with great entertainment as did Dickers offer to get the umpire some prescription glasses for the last half. I understand Footy (the umpire in question) agreed with Dickers and sent him off for 10 minutes after half-time to find them!